Dear Throne of Glass Fandom
by trilogiesrule
Summary: Summary brought to you by Aelin: LISTEN UP, fandom. There are a HECK of a lot of things that YOU'RE getting WRONG. Included are letters from me, Aedion, Lysandra, Rowan, and more. You NEED to read this. I'm tired of the rutting misconceptions. Thanks but no thanks, Aelin Ashryver Galathinius (Story idea not my own)
1. Sincerely, Ever Fae Male Ever

**AN: Hi people. My computer still isn't working, and this story is one that I've wanted to write for a while now. It's also going to be pretty easy to type on a tablet, and again, I apologize for typos. Idea inspired by purplelighting (purple-lightning? I dunno, I'm too lazy to check, but their story is in my favor section)**

Dear _Throne of Glass_ fandom,

I wear shirts.

Sincerely,

Every fae male ever (especially Rowan)


	2. Not-So-Sincerely, Aedion

Dear _Throne of Glass_ fandom,

What the actual rutting hell? We need to talk about Rowaedion. Especially the smut. I think _Aelin_ reads cleaner books, by the Wyrd, and you know what she reads. Not to mention, Rowan prefers _females_. And Aelin especially. Ugh. One time, I made the mistake of accidentally walking past their rooms at night. I am never taking that shortcut again.

Finally, Rowan and I can hardly stand to be in the same room, much less the same _bed_. I definitely haven't warmed up to him, nor he to me. So don't even entertain the idea. You'd better do well to remember that.

Not-so-sincerely,

Aedion Rutting Ashryver

 **AN: When I was typing Rowaedion, it autocorrected to Rowaelin. XD It's been confirmed, autocorrect is a hardcore Rowaelin shipper (** **nope it's not because I'm Rowaelin trash and type Rowaelin all the time** **).**


	3. Sincerely, Chaol Westfall

Dear _Throne of Glass_ fandom,

Hello. I believe there is a misconception amongst many of you. My name is spelled Chaol, but it is pronounced like"kay-all", or "chaos" with an "l". It is not Cole, it is not Kale, it is Chaol. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Chaol Westfall

 **AN: I originally pronounced Chaol "Cole" and it took me a while to change to "Kale", but I recently learned that it's "kay-all", so...**

 **How did you originally pronounce it?**


	4. Leave me the hell alone, Aedion

Dear TOG fandom,

Ugh. You guys make me sick. I'm NOT in love with Aelin! She's my rutting cousin! It disgusts me to think about touching her like that. Stop depicting me as the lovesick boy who's just so jealous of Rowan! Im not, thank you very much.

Leave me the hell alone,

Aedion Ashryver

 **AN: He says something like this in EoS, I think.**


	5. Thanks, trilogiesrule

Dear _Throne of Glass_ fandom,

I think you should look up friendly in the dictionary. None of you seem to know what it means.

Thanks,

trilogiesrule


	6. Sincerely, Manon--with Lorcan butting in

**KoA SPOILERS!**

Dear _Throne of Glass_ fandom,

About Malide...WHY? I'm perfectly happy rutting Dorian, and let's be honest. How good could Elide really be in bed?

Sincerely,

Manon Blackbeak

Manon,

Damn excellent, that's how good she is.

Lorcan

"Lorcan",

I think you mean Lord Lorcan Lochan.

Manon


	7. Thank you, Lord Darrow

Dear Throne of Glass fandom,

I don't hate Aelin. I don't hate her court. I just think it's a little bit untraditional and the members don't really know what they're doing. I don't mean to hold anything against them, it's just that they never learned. Someone has to teach them about how to run a kingdom, of course. However, their hearts are already in the right place.

Remember that a single kingsflame flower bloomed during King Orlorn's reign. Remember that the entire Plain of Theralis was covered with the flowers after Aelin's coronation. I'm not stupid. Stop depicting me that way.

Thank you for your consideration,

Lord Darrow


	8. Kill me now, Rowan

Dear Throne of Glass fandom,

Gods, no. No. No, no, no. First Rowaedion, now _Rowcan_? You do realize we hate each other, yes? No hidden love. I promise. We hate each other.

Kill me now,

Rowan

I'm inclined to agree.

-Lorcan

 **I hate to bash on people's ships-oh wait. No I don't.**


End file.
